Don't panic

Don't panic

On May 16, 2023, I found a lump in my breast.

I had just come home from the gym and went straight to the shower after sitting in my car for an unnecessary amount of time. I also forgot to wash my hair as planned not to mention that I was fasting too. At some point during my shower that day while my skin was soapy with body wash, I decided to do a breast self-exam. It was at that point that I discovered a small lump in my left breast, which completely caught me by surprise. So, after I finished my shower and dried off, I checked again and confirmed that it was in fact a lump.

I didn't panic.

I didn't say anything crazy aloud. 

I kept my peace and made a decision in my heart that I would trust God no matter the outcome.

After I got dressed, I went online to schedule my annual pelvic exam for the following Friday, which includes a breast exam. My plan was to inform my gynecologist about the lump that I found during the exam and to let her determine if I needed to get a mammogram. Of course, I did research on my own beforehand to figure out how this all works and anytime my thoughts and imagination took a turn for the worse, I prayed and declared that I am healed in Jesus name.

"And when He had come into the house, the blind men came to Him. And Jesus said to them, 'Do you believe that I am able to do this?' They said to Him, 'Yes, Lord'. Then He touched their eyes, saying, 'According to your faith let it be to you.'" - Matthew 9:28-29

I chose not to tell anyone about what was going on because this was a situation that required faith and discretion, and one of the things that I had learned at this point in my journey with Christ is that not everyone who prays for you has the faith to believe what God can do for you. Ironically enough, the LORD had me pray for a friend over the phone a few weeks earlier about a breast biopsy she had to get due to something suspicious her physician saw. In full transparency, I had never prayed over this particular friend before (at least not where she could hear me), so I relied on the Holy Spirit for the courage to call and pray for her. To my surprise, I ended up praying with her and her mom who was there to provide support for my friend whose biopsy was scheduled for the very next day. I had no idea that I would have to pray about the same exact thing for myself just a few weeks later.

Everything moved pretty quickly after my gynecology appointment. I got a mammogram for the very first time, which is equal parts hilarious and super uncomfortable if you have small breasts. I think it was after this that I told both my mom and sister about the lump I found. I could tell that my mom was a little concerned, but her Jamaican stoicism wouldn't allow her to project her feelings on me. I also wasn't worried about my upcoming biopsy probably because not long after I found the lump, the LORD had begun talking to me about several different things that He wanted to do in, through, and for me, so I was convinced that Jehovah Rapha - the LORD that healeth thee (Exodus 15:26) knew what He was doing and why. 

The night before my biopsy appointment, the Holy Spirit spoke to me as I was cooking dinner. He revealed that when the doctor plugs the access point after collecting a tissue sample, it will serve as a confirmation that I am marked and covered by God. The plug would remain there and show up on any future x-ray images as proof of this. All I had to do was believe Him, and I did.

On June 16th, 31 days after I found the lump in my breast, I received my biopsy results informing me that it was noncancerous. While I can't recall everything I did at that moment, I do know that I smiled because this was yet another reminder that God is not a man that He should lie (Numbers 23:19). So, if you've been worried about something or someone, I encourage you to pray and seek the LORD. If you've been feeling anxious lately, stop what you're doing and sit at Jesus' feet. Your life is way more important to the Father than you realize, and you shouldn't allow the cancer of worry, panic, and anxiousness keep you from having the perfect peace that Jesus died on the cross and rose from the grave to give you.

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